Ephemeral Consiousness

For as long as Lagris can remember; Lagris had grown up in that crib with the stuffed teddy bears. The soft melody of his mother’s lullabies echoed itself in his mind every time he wailed. When Lagris learned to crawl, his father would return from work to watch his progress as the little boy grew a little bit more with each passing second. "Come here Lagris! I'm sure you can do this! You have your whole life ahead of you!" My parents would remark as I struggled to take in my baby steps. As Lagris was growing up, his parents would always been very supportive of his growth and they never chastised him before. You could say he was spoiled, but he felt had a very lucky childhood. When he went to visit his friend’s house he would feel the same sense of warmth from their parents too. Everything around Lagris life seemed ideal; he had seen no conflict or anything like that before.

-Ithaca, New York-

“Lagris? Lagris? Are you there?” was the sound of his girlfriend, Danila as she waves her hands over Lagris face.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was lost for a bit back there.”

“I was worried for a moment. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Just reminiscing.”

“Reminiscing about what? Oh, your childhood right?”

“Right.”

“Oh right, you grew up in a house too, Danila?

“Yes, together with my parents. I had great memories of that time! The first time I met your parents, I felt joy that we were able to grow up with such great families!”

“Oh really? I’ve never met your parents, since well they’re all the way in California. How would you describe your parents?”

“I’d say they’re nice, supportive and very forgiving.”

“You know, from what I’ve heard, they sound a lot like mine! Can you tell me more?”

Danila hesitated, then said, “I’m not sure what more I could tell you; why are you so interested?”

“Does your parents approve of you know, our relationship?”

“I’m sure they’ll approve. Don’t worry.”

I glanced at my watch. It was 10:55AM. My next class starts at 11:00AM.

“I should get going to class. See you, Danila.”

“Ok. Good luck!”

-Laboratory somewhere in space 2151-

In a giant room flanked by screens and monitors, with scientists sitting at their stations in a well-lit room with a titanium balcony.

“His condition seems stable.”

“Oxygen level also level.”

“Check the blood flow.”

Thorus looked at the HUD and crossed arms as he looked over the laboratory balcony.

He had a wry smile on his face.

“Carry on.” He commented.

“Yes, sir!”

Ignis, the head scientist decided it was time for the big moment.

“Connect all neural links!”

“Yes sir!”

“I hope this will work.” Ignis muttered to himself as he looked at the HUD.

-Ithaca, New York-

Lagris was sitting in class when a sudden jolt shocked him. Suddenly he was convulsing in his seat as he grasped his head. The rest of the class immediately rushed over.

“Are you okay? Do you need to head to the infirmary?”

“Can I take you to there?”

“Ok, thank you.” Lagris replied.

“It’s a minor headache. You shouldn’t have any problems.” The nurse retorted.

“You sure? I think it really hurts. It feels pretty painful. I’m not sure if it’s merely a headache.”

“It is. I’m sure. You’re just making it worse. Now get some rest.”

“Uhhh. Ok.” Lagris grimaced as he attempts to lie down.

         On the infirmary bed, his pain eased, but then suddenly, unfamiliar thoughts began to manifest itself in his brain. Suddenly, in his heart he felt a sense of vulnerability that he’d never had experienced in his life before. Trying hard to fight these sudden thoughts, Lagris decided he should try to take a nap.

         While taking a nap, Lagris had a dream. It depicted Lagris in a spaceship, looking at an oxygen meter as it approaches zero. In his dream, Lagris felt the same kind of fear that attacked him earlier as he was lying on his hospital bed.

“No! I don’t want to die! This is just wrong!” was the thoughts that rang through his head as he contemplated death.

         The grave danger of his dream motivated Lagris to awaken from is slumber. His heart was panting and panting as he struggled to come to terms with the message from his dream.

-Laboratory somewhere in space 2151-

“Quick! Quick! Something’s wrong! He’s blood pressure and his oxygen levels are fluctuating!”

“I’m detecting abnormal brain activity!”

Thorus stormed into the laboratory from the main steel reinforced door.

“What’s the meaning of this? What’s going on?” He bellowed as his eyes processed the data on the screens.

“I think his condition is in decline right now. It has something to do with-“

Ignis stepped in, taking a deep bow and replied, “I’ve activated all brain channels because I think he’s ready for it.”

“You what? I did not authorize that!”

“I know sir, but I was curious to see what would happen. I’m sure his condition will be stabilized soon.”

“Make sure you keep this under control. We can’t afford to lose him.”

“Understood sir. I’m sorry. I should’ve kept myself under better control.”

“Ignis, this is the first time you’ve acted out of your own volition. While I resent such a sentiment, I appreciate your dedication to curiosity because sometimes risks needed to be taken. However, I fully expect this kind of situation to never occur again.”

“Thank you sir, for your understanding. I will see to it immediately.”

-Ithaca, New York-

Lagris lied back on his bed, as his heart began to calm down a bit.  He thought to himself, was that a dream? It felt so real, as if it actually happened to me. While he dabbled with the feelings of fear, he attempted to assure himself that it was merely a dream. Exhausted from his experience, Lagris decided to lie on his bed for the rest of the day in case he suffers another attack. Suddenly, there were two knocks on the door.

“Can I come in? This is Danila.”

“Danila? Yes. You can come in.”

“Oh Lagris. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m better now. It’s just that it happened so suddenly, I wasn’t sure why it happened.”

“I’m glad your better now! Here, I brought you flowers when I heard you came here to the infirmary.”

“Thank you. These flowers are beautiful and they smell really good. Lavender isn’t it?”

“Right. I’m glad you know!”

“Danila, I had a bad dream where I thought I was dying. I was out in some spaceship when it happened.”

“You dreamed you died? I feel bad for you. You should get some rest.”

“Danila, what do you make of this? I’ve never had a dream like this before. And what’s bothering me was, it felt so real that I don’t know how to feel of it.”

“Lagris, how can a dream be real? You should stop thinking too much about it and get some more rest.”

Danila’s words had an effect of rubbing Lagris the wrong way; he didn’t know what to make of it, but he had a certain sense of uneasiness when he heard these words.

“Danila, aren’t you curious about why I had this dream? I’m really worried about it. And you can just be so casual about it.”

“Lagris. I care that you had a bad dream. But I can’t do anything about it. The worst I can do is to worry about it with you. Then it would make your worry even more wouldn’t it?”

“You do have a point, Danila. Alright I’ll try not to think too much about it. Thanks for your advice.”

“I have to catch my next class. See you!”

The nurse came back in her pristine outfit, with her clipboard and pen.

“Are you feeling better now? You can stay here for the rest of the day if you’d like.”

“Thank you. Nurse, I just had a really bad dream where I felt like I was dying in a spaceship. I’m really concerned about it. Do you have any advice on dealing with bad dreams?”

“I do not. You should head to rest.”

“I see. Thank you!”

The events of the day bothered Lagris. Thinking it might hinder his recovery, he decided to finally take a nap.

Lagris was sitting on a chair with a couple of books spread in front of him. He realized that he was sitting in a classroom with a large group of kids. Considering the context around Lagris, he concluded he was in an elementary school classroom. But I was just in an infirmary at Ithaca Lagris thought to himself. The classroom around him seemed unfamiliar; it was not the same elementary school he really attended.

“Lagris! Lagris! Do you want to check out the latest VR game?”

“VR game? I think I’ll pass. I’m too busy to play anything. Sorry, Ranu.”

I know this boy? And he knows me? I didn’t even think twice about it as Lagris thought to himself. This particular statement annoyed Lagris as he felt a certain apprehension.

It all ended too quickly when he suddenly opened his eyes again. Like last time, this dream also felt too real to be just a “dream”. Somehow, he felt as if the dream was like a genuine memory. Even still, he didn’t feel any of the same symptoms he did when he first collapsed in class yesterday. He decided to trek back to the dormitory after his overnight stay in the infirmary. As he entered his dorm and popped on to his swivel chair, he reached for the family photo he took as a ten year old. Suddenly, a minor shock shook his brain once more. Dropping the photo on the ground, Lagris wondered why he felt this way. As if something came back to him, he realized a profound sensation of pain when he looked at his mother in the photo. Did my mom really look like this? Part of myself is telling me that I’ve never had a mother like her before, or….. even saw her before! Lagris struggled to remove these feelings of doubt as he recalled the lullabies that his mother used to sing to him while he was in his crib. The memories I have here are real, Lagris said to himself. There is no other truth of my life, except the one I have here. Lagris contemplated the photo. If there is physical proof of this experience, I have one right here with me. If an actual photo can’t prove reality, then nothing will.

-Laboratory somewhere in space-

“Sir, ever since you activated those brain nodes, I’ve gotten abnormal brain activity surges from various portions of his brain, particularly at the nodes where you activated.”

“Oh? That’s to be expected. I don’t particularly care as long as not too much anomalies occurs. Did you hear back from the software department? Can they patch the logic parameters for the virtualization software?”

“I have, and they will proceed to update the software.”

“Thank you. We shall proceed.”

-Ithaca, New York-

On the way to a diner, Lagris voice reached Danila if she wanted to go eat with him. Together, they walked together to the restaurant.

“Sorry, Danila for acting weird the other day. I was clearly a little out of my mind there.”

“It’s okay. Are your dreams affecting you anymore? If they are, let me know okay?”

Why is she changing her thoughts now? Didn’t she tell me not to worry about it? Lagris thought to himself as he waited for his medium-well angus steak to arrive to his table.

“Why are you suddenly so thoughtful of me? I told you I was babbling the other day. “

“I don’t know. But you seemed serious when you told me about them the other day.”

Lagris found himself silent as he processed this sudden change. Indeed, every time I probe or want to ask more questions, the next day she comes back seemingly different. I’m beginning to worry whether she has some form of bipolar disorder. Perhaps I can chalk it up to the fluctuating female hormones. But I’ve decided not to make too much out of it. That evening, Lagris enjoyed the sensation of a delicious burger. On his way out of the restaurant, Lagris, Lagris noted something odd about the staff at the restaurant he frequented with his girlfriend. Now that I’ve realized, why are the staff the same over the years? They’ve been the save as long as I can remember. In addition, what also bothers me is the fact that I don’t recall the staff still being this young after all these years. I can understand technology reducing the process of aging, but I don’t remember how they haven’t changed physically at all. Chilled by this realization, Lagris determined to check out the other stores that he have frequented. He stopped by the Super Target after he bid Danila goodbye. Going into the Super Target, he froze when he recognized the same phenomenon occurring – the staff was the same and they’re physical age also didn’t seem to diminish over the years he lived in Ithaca. To confirm this strange scenario, he rushed over to another restaurant that he used to frequent. No doubt, the same thing happened again. How is this possible? This is impossible. Even if technology allows anti-aging, these people couldn’t possibly just be in the same store for all these years. Ithaca isn’t exactly the smallest town and New York City is to the South, so opportunities for job advancement are there. What’s more, I realize that the classroom that I’ve sat in my dream is probably isn’t in Ithaca either. Unable to know for certain what he would do in this situation, Lagris glanced at his watch and noted the date. It’s only two of days until spring break. Now that I’ve mentioned it, I should go somewhere fun to ease myself of this eerie situation. It’s my freshman year, and I think I should take the opportunity. Where should I go? Oh yeah, the beach. Definitely the beach. That’ll be a nice trip. I should tell Danila.

“Danila, how would you like to go to the beach with me in two days?”

“Beach? I’d love to, but don’t you think that’s a little bit…..boring?”

“Boring? How would that be boring? We get to go splash in the waves; it’ll be a lot of fun!”

“I’m not so sure. Besides, I might have to pay my aunt’s family a visit during spring break so I might not be able to come with you.”

“Danila, I want to spend the time with you. Is that not reason enough?”

“If you do, do you want to go somewhere else instead? I think I should get to pick what we do. How about skiing?”

“In the spring? I don’t think so. You know what? I wanted to see the ocean; I don’t seem to remember what the ocean was like, so I really want to go to the ocean.”

“Well Lagris, alright. But I’m not going with you. If you want to go to the ocean, stay safe. If you’ve never been to the ocean, then I suggest you prepare yourself for it, mentally. It’s going to be pretty amazing. Good luck then. Bye!”
“Bye!”

Lagris slammed the brakes as he couldn’t believe what he saw with his eyes. The Ocean was there, but there was something incredibly wrong with the landscape. Indeed, in front of him, not only is there nobody on the beaches, but there lies a huge wall of….darkness. The water seemed to end itself at a wall of pitch-blackness. This is really wrong. No matter what, I know I’m not dreaming but this is definitely not what a beach should look like. Lagris stumbled out of his car as he walked towards the sand on the beach. He looked up and tried to call out to the void.

“Hello? Is there anybody out here?”

“Initiating Protocol A151.” a mechanized voice appeared out of the void.

-Laboratory somewhere in space-

“What? Protocol A151 has been activated? That’s impossible!”
Ignis rushed into the laboratory, astounded. “So this means….”

Thorus quickly followed into the laboratory and joined Ignis on the balcony.

“So what’s happening right now? I heard something about Protocol A151.”

“Sir, what this means is….”

“Does it mean I have a clear channel to my son?”

“Ah yes, sir it means that the day has arrived for you to interact with him.”

Thorus and Ignis arrive at another portion of the facility where they accessed the voice device that was hooked to the mainframe.

-Atlantic Ocean-

“Lagris are you there? This is Thorus, your father.”

“Father? I thought you were in California.” Lagris replied.

“No, Lagris. Have your memories awaken? It appears that activating your brain channels have had an effect on you. Did you come here to the ocean to discover what’s happening around you?”

“Uh, sort of. I’ve felt strange that I don’t recall ever seeing the ocean in my life before, so I’ve decided to take a look at what it looks like.”

“Son. I have to tell you something. This something may hurt a lot, but bear with me.”

“Ok. I’ll hear what you have to say, father.”

“Lagris. You are dead. The world your living in isn’t real. I’m actually not 44 as your other father is; I’m actually 62 years old. You’ve been living in this world for 18 years, which means you died 18 years ago. I’ve aged 32 years since you death. I’ve created this world for you to inhabit so that one day, I might be able to communicate with you through this neural link.”

So some of those memories are real. I’m dead in “real” life?

“What’s this nonsense? I feel like I’m living just fine. Why do you insist on me being dead?”

What? I’m suddenly feeling a lot of pain. A lot of pain. Those painful memories of my childhood on Mars.

“Father, did I grow up on Earth and then moved to Mars?”

“Yes, you did. I want to apologize for being the worst kind of father to you over the years. I have neglected my duties as a father as I tried to build Tergic Inc. into the greatest mining corporation in the solar system. I’ve never been very warm to you. Your mother died giving birth to you Lagris, and that was my first regret. I tried to push you into succeeding my company, but you never listened. Listen son. Your death 18 years ago in the spaceship have truly struck me hard.”

I understand now. Though I’m feeling all this pain, the real me is beginning to accept some vestige of my father’s repentance. He wouldn’t keep me alive like this if he didn’t love me. Knowing this operation, this project must have cost my father 75% of his massive fortune. He also invented a perfect childhood for me here to help me feel loved. Truly, I can understand that for this selfish man to use 75% of his fortune for me he must have endured a change of heart. He has always been a workaholic.

“Son, you should’ve been my priority day one you were born. I understand my mistakes. I forever regret whatever I’ve done to antagonize you. It wasn’t until you died did I realize what I fool I was to and how much you actually meant for me.”

“Father. I understand how you feel. I am moved by your words and actions. I accept your apology. You have given me the gift of life again.”

-Voice Room, Mars Laboratory 2151-

Thorus froze, with tears streaming down his cheeks as he felt a cold hard edge at his back. It’s impossible. It’s a knife. I’ve never thought they still use these today.

Thorus turned around to find the person he never thought he would be seeing doing it. His eyes bulged as he found himself meeting eye to eye with Ignis, who was threatening to kill him with the knife.

“Ignis! You! Is this what they call betrayal?”

“Oh? Thorus, you’ve only just realized this, haven’t you? You don’t realize all the red flag’s I’ve placed over the years. It looks like ages have truly dulled your senses. You’re even talking about fatherly love, as if those ideals have a place in this competition! I’m actually a sleeper agent for UMC, Inc.”

UMC Inc. (United Mining Corporation)? I should’ve seen that coming. They’re the second largest mining corporation. They used to be trading blows with Tergic Inc. until a court declared some of their materials to be of inferior quality and charged with fraud. But to think they’ve gone so far as to plant an agent within my ranks, it’s amazing.

“Thorus, are you ready to die? No regrets, old man?”

Just before the dagger went through his spine, Thorus activated a touch sensitive button on his cuff as he felt the strength of the dagger dig through his back. The touch sensitive button triggered the emergency alarm.

“Darn it! So, Thorus, you activated the alarm. Anyways, regardless I accomplished the goal of ruining your little reunion and your pathetic life. So I have the last laugh. I should get going.” I did not notice that he had those buttons on his cuff because they were invisible Ignis thought.

Thorus activated another button on his collar as his guard platoons came charging into the voice room. The second button activated two glass walls that trapped Ignis passage.

“Thorus! You scumbag!”

Thorus gave him a wry smile as he collapsed from the blood loss as his life slowly escaped itself from him.

-Atlantic Ocean-

Lagris froze. “Father? What was that noise?”

“Hurry quickly! Before he loses his consciousness! We can’t afford to lose him! Get the artificial respirator!”

“What’s happening? Why do you need an artificial respirator?”

“You may all hurry to the infirmary.”

“Hello? This is Chief Doctor Orwill. Are you there, Lagris?”

“Uh, Doctor Orwill? Who are you?”

“As I’m sure your father has explained to you, you are now currently in a simulation which is directly connected to your neural interface. I’m broadcasting my information to you from the Manen district of the Moon ecumenopolis. I’m here to retell you what happened.”

Lagris replied with an astonished look, “Wait, what? Ecumenopolis?” Now I remember. The entire moon is a city.

“Yes. But that’s not what’s important. Your father was just stabbed, perhaps mortally through his back by on of our highest-ranking researchers. It’s going to be a real shock to you, but rest assured, I’m here to assure you that we are going to try our best at restoring him to health.”

“Really...I can’t believe it.”

“If what my father says is true, then I am indeed placed in a simulation. I’d also assume that my father is overseeing my well care. But, where do I go from here. If he’s…. dead, then how will I live my life through this simulation? Would there be a point to keep my alive like this?”

“You are alive not only because your father felt great shame as a father, but also because he also felt that being the first person to be placed into suspended animation like this would mean a lot for humanity. You are the first person in modern science to recognize his consciousness after death. That is an important milestone. Even then, I’m sure that your death at such a young age proved to be a huge disappoint, as many people would feel. I hope that addresses your concerns regarding this.”

“I understand. I’d like to keep on living this life that I lead. Even though my brain is overwhelmed by the events that occurred today, I am grateful overall for the help that your team has done for me. I’m going to try to reconcile the memories of my past with new ones.”

“I see you’re in good hands now. I will take my leave then. I am sorry for what happened to your father.”

-Five hours later-

“Hello? This is Doctor Orwill again.”

“Oh hello doctor. Why are you here? I’m no longer at the ocean.”

“Oh that? I’ve patched your software to allow communication between you anywhere in this virtual world. Don’t worry; it doesn’t affect how the person here reacts. I come...with heavy news and that I regret to inform you that your father has now passed away. He died ten minutes ago because we weren’t able to restore blood flow to the blood vessels that were severed by the knife. I’m very sorry.

“NO! That cannot be! I’ve finally come to terms with my real memories, and now he’s dead? This kind of thing cannot be happening to me. I can live with the fact that I’m physically dead, but my father? I knew it might happen, but for such a thing to actually occur, it’s not right!”

“Your father had the same sudden reaction that you did when he learnt of your death. I’m sorry, but this kind of situation was unavoidable.”

“Who? Who did this to him?”

“Your father’s rival in business.”

“But why now? Just when I was reunited mentally with my father, this kind of situation had to happen. Why did they choose to make this hard for me?”

“That I cannot say for sure. But I can say this. Emotional pain is often times magnitudes worse than physical pain. As a doctor, I can treat physical wounds, but I don’t have a salve for emotional ones. Perhaps that is what they seek to do.”

“These! If I wasn’t dead, I’d like to personally destroy them!”

“Calm down. The perpetrator was caught. We had security footage. He’s going to be reprimanded. Unfortunately for UMC, they weren’t clever enough to foil our security systems. Justice will be served.”

“I see. Thank you.”

“Speaking of your father, I was also his longtime personal physician. I’ve known your father for quite some time. You have never met me because there was no need to trouble a young mind with his father’s health. I also share the same heavy burden that you do.”

“Dr. Orwill. Is it possible to incorporate my dad’s consciousness into my program, into my world?”

“It is, if your father had the capital for it. His massive fortune was donated to a foundation specifically designed to maintain your life here for seventy more years. He did not create a foundation for himself neither did he have the capital to execute it. I’m sorry. Your father truly spent an enormous fortune creating this atmosphere for you. However, He did leave a blueprint for something special. During the last four years, he had been working on advanced algorithms with our programmers to devise an expansion to your simulation here. In other words, we plan to overhaul the code so that we can enable you to start a virtual family. This is but one of a father’s many wishes; to live to the day that he can see his grandchildren. Lagris, you hold the keys to the future of your own children. You have what it takes to become one of a kind father.”

“I don’t know what to say, it’s just amazing. I have to truly thank you for staying together with me throughout this entire ordeal. Thank you very much. I look forward to more conversations with you, doctor.”

“My pleasure. I will be overseeing your simulation from here on out. Unfortunately, I might meet my day before you meet yours.”

“Doctor Orwill, don’t be so gloomy. You still have countless years ahead of you as we carve new memories together. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

The aftermath of the betrayal resulted in many things. First, UMC was found guilty of corporate espionage and murder through voice reports found in the UMC database. With the death of Thorus Tergic and with no heirs, Tergic merged with UMC and then collectively divided into different mining corporations in the namesake of fair markets. Second, because Thorus still have 25% of his fortune left, that fortune is being routed to the maintenance of Lagris’ brain. The simulation of Lagris brain required the compute ability of the solar system’s largest supercomputing array, which was connected, to Lagris’s brain through neural channels. The large supercomputing array was designed to not only simulated Lagris’s brain, but also controlled the complex AI of the inhabitants of the virtual America. Meanwhile, the destruction of Tergic Inc. also meant that Thorus’s past projects have also been uncovered. The initial method for preserving Lagris was Thorus’s attempt at being god and trying to revive his son using medical methods. However, by the third year of the project, it was deemed unfeasible and astronomically expensive. Even still, these three years of the project contributed to humanity’s understanding of human body processes. It also opened up the field of brain simulation as another formed of VR for those who want to “extend” their life. After settling in with the good doctor, Lagris was taken back by the sophistication of the virtualization software. For the first time in his virtual world, Lagris felt that the people around him were truly like humans. Set against the backdrop of the verdant dawn of the Ocean, Lagris proposed to his girlfriend, Danila. On the day his father’s funding ran out, on the day of his death, he stood together with his family facing the Atlantic Ocean.

“Kids, sometimes it takes a bad father to appreciate the qualities required to be a good one. My father was one such person. He wasn’t somebody you’d be proud to call a father at first, but as I’ve witnessed, it’s more than just that though; my bad father went beyond the traditional confines of a father and became something I’d call a saint. It shows to you that this is what makes humanity great. It doesn’t take a lifestyle to appreciate that. Speaking of humanity, there are other things that I think are important. No matter how much money you have, even with advanced technology, truly resurrecting somebody is still impossible and is probably best left to the divine, but I’m happy to know that there are people out there who can live into their hundreds thanks to my father’s research. The world is truly a better place with you, father.”

Those were the last words of Lagris Tergic, whose consciousness forever vanished from the physical world. His phenomenon became the bases of a 100-foot statue in New York City. His commemorative plaque stated

“Here lies the first man to cross the dirge of death to become a symbol of strength and fathers around the world. He was the father of a new generation where people

learnt to appreciate every second of their lives. Without this man here, humanity’s bid against mortality would have proved futile. His struggle made this man a symbol of immortality that was made even stronger by the values that he champions.”

Somewhere in the solar system, in a crib with teddy bears, a mother sings lullabies to her infant child.